Roni was ranting about a ridiculous test for ADD, so I decided to look at it and lampoon it a little. It really is ridiculous. In her words, "After every question I felt like I was being tested to see if I was the sufficiently submissive proletariat work slave. Hard to concentrate on boring shit? Something is wrong with you!!"
Here are some choice questions:
"I find it difficult to read written material unless it is very interesting or very easy."
I had trouble even answering this, because I had to think back for years to remember the last time I read something I didn't find "very interesting". What's the point otherwise? What use is there in forcing myself to read Silas Marner if my mind would be better engaged doing something else? How can doing something mind-numbing POSSIBLY be good for your mind??
"Especially in groups, I find it hard to stay focused on what is being said in conversations."
Well hell, that depends on the group doesn't it? If I'm listening to a group of people going on about football or Vampire the Masquerade or Brad Pitt I'm gonna be sitting there thinking about banana pudding or something instead. Any other topic and you'll probably have my attention.
"My moods have highs and lows."
Oh god, I stopped taking the happy pills and now the feelings are coming back! Quick, get me some more Zoloft! I want to be numb again!
Or, in Roni's words, "Oh damn, I don't maintain homeostasis."
"I have trouble planning in what order to do a series of tasks or activities."
Shall I do the laundry first, or the dishes? Gosh, I'd better make a schedule for the day! Goodly huswyves mustn't do their work out of order! It'll be 30 lashes if I choose wrong!
"I almost always am on the go."
Activity is bad, children. Sit in your Wall-E style hoverchairs and never get up. Getting up is for the unwashed masses.
"There is a lot of "static" or "chatter" in my head."
Don't worry about all that noise in your head. Those are just thoughts. Get a nice cubicle job and stop asking questions. They'll be gone soon.
"Even when sitting quietly, I am usually moving my hands or feet."
YOU!!! Yes, YOU! Sit STILL, laddie!
"My thoughts bounce around as if my mind is a pinball machine."
Why, it's almost as if my brain is made of millions of neurons, and many of them are "firing" in some way! I'd better cut that out, it feels like I'm making more than one connection at a time! OH GOD MAKE IT STOP THINKING GIVES YOU WRINKLES NOOOOOO