A Magical Journey Through 2009: Twitter Edition

This is part III of a three-part post. See Part I and Part II as well.

I got Twitter in December of 2008, which means that I have the mundane details of all of 2009 recorded for posterity. It's a LOT of tweets, but I wanted to comb through and share a few of my favorites here, separated by month.

January

My New Years resolution is to watch as many music videos as possible. The guy on VH1 suggested that, and I think it sounds pretty good. - Jan 5th

Pandora is suggesting that one element I like in a band is "a dynamic male vocalist." That's eerily accurate, if not an understatement. - Jan 11th
(Those who have suffered politely through my obsessions with Freddie Mercury and Peter Gabriel know this well.)

I went to the park and played on the swings today! To hell with what random parents think, it was fun! - Jan 14th

February

My mom and I are watching the same channel in different rooms. QUALITY TIME LOL - Feb 25th
(This was the only thing I tweeted in February that was not about mono. Yeesh I'm a baby when I'm sick!)

March

I love mowing the lawn, but I do not love getting dirt up my nose. - Mar 22nd

STOP HAVING A BORING TUNA - Mar 23rd

I swear Jamie Lee Curtis has no dignity. Hasn't she considered that when she's dead all anyone will remember is her yogurt poop ads? - Mar 25th

April

Just ate waffles; now watching a documentary about Thomas Jefferson, and coloring a mandala. Feeling calm and happy. Not using pronouns. - Apr 6th

I just injured myself removing a plastic straw from a box. My life is sad. - Apr 7th

When I start arguing with a friend over how many people live in Greenland, that's a sign it's time to go to bed. - Apr 11th

Went to Walmart for chips and came home with mancala and a lap harp. When I impulse-buy I do it right. - Apr 12th

May

Dude. Shredder = Uncle Phil. DUDE. - May 10th
(It's true.)

Trying to write an article, but my brain feels like it's made of Jello. Or oatmeal. Gelatinous oatmeal. - May 12th

Even the episode titles of Star Trek TOS are just begging for slash. The Man Trap? The Naked Time? Space Seed? All sound like cheap pornos! - May 15th
(I mean, uh, I have no idea what slash is! Nosiree bob.)

Stupid things I say while playing video games: "Oh well, if I lose a life it won't kill me." - May 19th

June

Leonard Nimoy has successfully ruined LOTR for me. I can't get the accursed Bilbo Baggins song to quit popping in my head while I read >( - Jun 5th

I'm listening to Donovan and making a kerchief for my hair, and discussing chorizo with Roni. It sounds, um, interesting. - Jun 14th

@wilw If you don't come back, should we avenge your death? - Jun 25th
(This is notable because he REPLIED TO ME OMG. I mean, no, I'm not a pathetic fangirl of any sort! *laughs nervously* *backs away*)

July
(There's a lot this month - bear with me.)

Today is the day on which we celebrate our founding fathers and their principles by eating some wieners. Ben Franklin would be so proud. - Jul 4th
(I was not implying anything about Franklin's sexuality here, but in retrospect it sounds like I was.)

Pro tip: If you ever manage to accidentally get soy sauce on an Oreo, do not try to eat around the soy sauce. Just throw the cookie away. - Jul 8th

My animals either do not like the sound of the record player, or they don't like Prince. Jake looks like he is plotting my death right now. - Jul 16th
(Eerily, "Raspberry Beret" came up in iTunes right when I pasted this.)

Apparently, someone recently found my blog through a Google search for "preauricular shit smell". I don't even want to know. - Jul 18th

Strange questions in my house: "Where's that stick I hit things with?" My mom didn't even find this question odd. - Jul 26th

Peculiar discovery of the day: lullaby renditions of Nirvana songs. I am not making this up. - Jul 30th

August

Kasey begged to come inside, used the litter box, and went right back out. THANKS SO MUCH KASEY. - Aug 18th

Watching Andrew Zimmern. "Now this is all the flesh, tongue, and cheek from a cow's head, preserved in an aspic." Me: "Ewww, aspic" - Aug 20th

September

BONNIE SMASH TWITTER WITH GIANT WHALE-SHAPED HAMMER ROAAAAR - Sep 11th

I think if, when asked to describe yourself, your FIRST answer is "I'm a member of Mensa", it should be acceptable to punch you in the gut. - Sep 16th

I know Yahoo isn't a serious news source, but I think "Jessica Simpson mourns her dog" as a featured headline is a new low even for them. - Sep 19th

October

Random fact of the day: Nolan Bushnell founded both Atari and Chuck E. Cheese. Be still, my 80s kid heart. - Oct 12th

Listening to George Winston, just hung a tire swing, and now I'm going to make fried rice and apple brown betty. I love fall! - Oct 19th

ADMIRAL! I AM RECEIVING WHALESONG! - Oct 24th
(Name the movie and win a cookie. Hint: They are not the hell your whales.)

I didn't have internet access for most of November.

December

I would like to install a nice, cushiony wall in my house that I can bang my head against during debates. Also a tumbling mat. For tumbling. - Dec 3rd

Mr. Burns can't stand talking to his mother. He never forgave her for having that affair with President Taft. @dailysimpsons - Dec 18th
(They used it!)

"I may be dirty and smelly, but in the dark, I'm just smelly!" - Dec 18th
(Two cookies if you can name this one!)

I like it when Twitter says "Retweet to your followers?" It makes me sound like some kind of overlord. You are my minions. - Dec 30th