Obviously, I bailed on NaBloPoMo, in which I planned to write a blog post every day. I’d almost say that this is harder than NaNoWriMo, where you can take a day off here and there if you’re sick or something, and catch up on a better day. In any case, the reason I bailed is mostly because the last few weeks have involved a sudden increase in my level of fatigue.
I usually have fatigue, because I have depression. But it’s gotten worse lately. Now, for those who haven’t experienced fatigue, I need to make it clear that this means more than just “feeling tired.” It’s more like feeling exhausted, both physically and mentally, for no discernable reason. (If you haven’t read The Spoon Theory, now is a good time to go do that.) Going to the grocery store can be enough to sap my energy to such a degree that I cannot read a book, let alone do anything physical. It’s like moving through molasses when everyone else is on rollerblades. The worst part is I can be exhausted and still be unable to fall asleep and get some relief.
I don’t know if the cause of my increased fatigue is due to the changing seasons and decreased light, something physical, or what. I’m currently on a hiatus from working, planning to live on savings until the holiday season is done. I’m also on two antidepressants and just recently started a regimen of vitamins that will hopefully boost my energy somewhat. I’m also trying to eat more protein and vegetables. My therapist has recommended exercise but I’m not convinced she fully understands the degree to which I am fatigued. I don’t feel like I have the capacity to exercise right now.
I do plan on trying to start blogging more, if only because I would like to feel productive in some way. But there are so many days when my brain just won’t do it. It’s really, really frustrating.