"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there"

I've had a head cold for about two weeks now. It's minor, but a nuisance because I have to blow my nose approximately every six seconds.

This is how I know this cold has gone on for too long: I was making breakfast just now, and trying not to cry because Freebird came on the radio (it reminds me of my grandma - long story). I instinctively grabbed a paper towel, put it to my face, and tried to blow my eyes. Don't ask me how.

Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately, since I'm sure it looked hilarious), I was alone at the time.