A
few minutes ago, I was reading a book that challenged me to think
about who I was exactly seven years ago. “Are you exactly the same
person you were then?”
In
January of 2006, I was 20, and in a relationship with someone a bit
younger than myself. That relationship was emotionally abusive, and
would end a few months later. I can't clearly remember the last few
months of that relationship, but January might have been the time my
boyfriend was growing pot plants, against my strong protests, in the
rundown trailer by my mom's house. I think it was around the time we
started hanging around my friend Sarah again. It was a couple months
before we saw Queen + Paul Rodgers live in Jacksonville, and a couple
months before I first met my friend Val. I didn't yet have either of
my two current cats, but I had several others, and a dog, and my
boyfriend had a dachshund he mostly ignored and a cat named Kasey. I
was still chatting regularly with my friend Spiffy and had just
recently gotten back in contact with my friend Terry; the two of them
weren't dating then, but would be later that year and still are.
I
had never heard of unschooling then. I was in community college,
working on my AA with an eye toward a BA in special education. I have
no clear memory of what classes I took that semester, although a
quick glance at my transcript tells me it was a boring term, with
history and English and earth science. The only thing that stands out
in my memory is that my history teacher was Nigerian, and told
American history from a strongly black angle, which I found
refreshing.
Mentioning
the earth science class brings back a memory of visiting my
boyfriend's soon-to-be workplace, trying to study my textbook in a
small room with construction going on all around. He was doing
electrical apprentice work, and had to be there very early in the
morning. He claimed to be unable to rouse himself from sleep
unassisted, so I would have to wake up at 4am to see him off to work.
I watched a lot of Neon Genesis Evangelion on those mornings, and I
think this was around the same time my boyfriend got obsessed with
Rammstein, so I was in a weird headspace in those days.
I
can't remember if this was before my cat Betty Boop ran away. I think
it was. That was one of my favorite pets I've ever had, and it was my
boyfriend's fault she got outside. I'm still pissed off about it, but
it was because that cat ran away that I got my cat Jake, who I like
even better.
I
was still living as female, and using my birth name. I had long hair
because my boyfriend preferred that, and I wore flare jeans and
low-cut shirts. I wasn't a feminist yet, and was proud of being
“different” from “other girls”. I hadn't yet considered that
feeling so different might be because I wasn't so much of a girl.
Notable
events from later in 2006 include breaking up with that boyfriend
(who I still have nightmares about, all these years later, and wake
up in a panic because there's a man in my bed, and have to remind
myself that it's my current partner), coming out as bisexual and then
as a lesbian, getting my first job in the biology lab at college,
going to my first gay pride, taking ASL II and III, smoking pot for
the first time (I never touched the stuff while my boyfriend was
growing it), meeting Terry in person for the first time, turning 21,
becoming a Unitarian, getting Jake as a kitten and getting a brand
new computer around the same time. I got obsessed with the book And
the Band Played On and the band Scissor Sisters. My dad showed up
in my life, briefly, around Christmas, after not contacting me for
something like a year. Overall the second half of the year was a lot
better than the first half.
I
don't have any clear memories of my mom that I can pin directly to
that year, but she was there. I don't think anybody in my life died
in 2006.
Who
were you seven years ago?
