A friend, who is a few years younger than I am, wrote a blog post about how she was feeling upset that no one was taking her dream of a rural life seriously. This is the comment I left her. I've edited out a few personal details, but otherwise nothing has been changed.
-------
You're at an age right now where everyone is going to try to convince you to be practical, to follow the traditional route, to do things the way they did and the way most people do.
You don't have to do that. Most of those people live the way they do because it's the easiest way, the one they have to think about the least. People give up on dreams because if you don't dream, you don't have to take risks.
Being a person who dreams is EXTREMELY valuable. The world needs more people who are fully alive and doing what they love. Right now it seems like there aren't any happy people because (I'm guessing, from my own experiences at your age) you're surrounded by people who are trying to get you to make your life small because they made theirs small. They need to believe that a big, fulfilled life isn't possible because it's how they justify giving up their own dreams. But it IS possible. I know lots of people who live unusual ways - hell, I have a friend who lives in a bus. She's chronically ill and is still one of the happiest people I have ever met, because she's free.
And living out in the country is not even unrealistic, not at all. I live in the country, always have. My neighbors own a farm. I know lots of people who live even further out in the country than I do, on huge plots of land away from EVERYTHING, and they homestead and homeschool and farm and everything. They all have different reasons for doing it - some want to live more in harmony with the earth, some want to minimize the influence of government and corporations on their lives, some just plain love nature. What they have in common is that they all seem really really happy.
If you have a chance, you should check out the Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn - it's mostly about leaving school to educate yourself, which you may or may not find relevant, but there's also an awful lot in there about following your passions and how being a teen/young adult is a time when it's really important to dream big.
As for god, I personally believe the only true religion is the one you find for yourself. Simply taking on what other people say without doing your own soul-searching has very little value.
Sorry for the tl;dr but I just can't stand it when I see someone hurt because others have laughed at their dreams. Just hang in there and keep believing in yourself. You DO have people supporting you, even if it's just us here online. Tell the haters to step off.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The last four days
I'm retroactively declaring this to have been a four-day weekend. You can do that, when you're unemployed ;)
It was a good one.
I went to the gay club, and sang at the piano bar, and saw drag queens. I learned that bubblegum vodka tastes like that nasty swish stuff they make little kids do at school. Blech.
I had a friend stay the night, and we played Scrabble and watched Queen. I made a 75-point word: vaporize, on a triple word score.
I poked around on TVTropes. I always learn things there: much about literature and psychology, but sometimes science or history too.
I watched all the Three Minute Philosophy videos (warning: gratuitous, and hilarious, use of the word "fuck".)
I played around in Gimp and learned how to make animated .gifs and use the clone tool.
I ran outside in the absolutely gorgeous, 60-degree fall weather that FINALLY came to Florida.
I took part in a forum discussion analyzing an episode of Star Trek.
Fez showed me some Kingdom Hearts music I hadn't heard, and I showed him some classical music he hadn't heard. They're not that different sometimes. I also discovered there are piano tutorials that work like Guitar Hero.
I cleaned the house, and I made homemade Chinese food. Protip: when a recipe says to use rice vinegar and rice wine, they mean it. Don't use white vinegar and no wine.
I hung a tire swing, and in the process learned about knot-tying. (They didn't teach us that in Girl Scouts, you see. Too busy painting our nails.)
I discovered that making a to-do list works better if you also include stuff you want to do.
I watched the season premiere of The Venture Bros., and I tried to watch The Big Bang Theory, but it was interrupted by a special news report.
And finally, I talked to an old friend who has been depressed for years and, until recently, getting worse. Now he's better, and happy.
Even living alone and with no money, this life is not so bad.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday Fill-In
1. So are we going to the gay bar? Yes, yes we are.
2. An unknown future is what's up ahead.
3. I love to oot, oot, oot, ooples and banoonoos.
4. I really need a cordless phone of some sort. Talking on a corded phone in the laundry room is major suck.
5. I walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door. Badunda, badunda.
6. Dr. Pepper is the true elixir of life!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing a bunch of drag queens, tomorrow my plans include grocery shopping and making stupid images in Gimp and Sunday, I want to be lazy!
2. An unknown future is what's up ahead.
3. I love to oot, oot, oot, ooples and banoonoos.
4. I really need a cordless phone of some sort. Talking on a corded phone in the laundry room is major suck.
5. I walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door. Badunda, badunda.
6. Dr. Pepper is the true elixir of life!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing a bunch of drag queens, tomorrow my plans include grocery shopping and making stupid images in Gimp and Sunday, I want to be lazy!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Announcement and a survey
For anyone who doesn't know, my mom passed away this past weekend. She had a heart attack, then a stroke, and couldn't recover from the brain damage. I wanted to put something on the blog just to cover all my bases, but I'm not ready to really talk much about what happened.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having.
I don't remember it. All I know is I woke up with the Reading Rainbow song in my head. This was Roni's fault, and there will be payback.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
In person, no. I've talked to a lot of people on LJ, but I don't know if any of them were new. I'm in some large comms (one has more people than my town) so it's hard to keep track of who I've talked to before.
9. What are you craving right now?
Is it possible to crave a cordless phone? If so, then I'm craving that. I'm hoping I can find a cheap one at the dollar store. I'm not going to eat it, though.
10. Do you floss?
Only if something is WAY stuck in my teeth
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Patch Kids? (You can take the kid out of the 80s, but...)
12. Are you emotional?
Outwardly, I can be pretty stoic (unless I'm giddy over something). Internally I'm a big gooey sap.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I think I tried when I was a kid, but always got bored by like 200.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
There's a lot of variables that factor into this - is it hard or soft-serve? Is it plain vanilla or are there chunks of stuff in it? Single or double scoop?
15. Do you like your hair?
hahahahahahaahhahahaa no.
16. Do you like yourself?
Generally, although I start doubting myself pretty fast when criticized. I'm working on that.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Oh absolutely, that would be hilarious. Especially once he knocked back a couple of beers. I'd get more amusing quotes out of that one meal than an entire season of the Simpsons.
18. What are you listening to right now?
The sound of cars going by on the highway. I was listening to "Gates of Dawn" by Secret Garden on Pandora, but I've got it paused so I can hear if the phone rings. This is why I need a cordless phone so bad.
19. Are your parents strict?
Well, I don't have any parents left now (my dad is a deadbeat). But no, my mom was never strict with me at all. My grandma had a temper but I wouldn't call her strict either. I pretty much got to do what I wanted so long as I didn't destroy anything.
20. Would you go sky diving?
Definitely not.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Only with fruit
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
I've met Trans-Siberian Orchestra, do they count? I *saw* a lot of celebrities at Dragon*Con, but I didn't get any autographs.
23. Do you rent movies often?
I have Netflix, so the answer is either "constantly" or "never", depending.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
This is me we're talking about. It would take less time to name the things that AREN'T sparkly, and most of those are rainbow-colored or glow in the dark. I'm a six-year-old girl at heart.
25. How many countries have you visited?
Zero, since I haven't been outside the US, and being in the country I live in doesn't really count as "visiting".
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
I hit the prime age for making prank phone calls around the same time everyone got caller ID, so no.
27. Ever been on a train?
I went on trains for the first time in Boston in August! It was awesome! I want to take trains everywhere!
28. Brown or white eggs?
I always buy the white ones, but really that's just because they're what my mom always bought, which is because they're what my grandma always bought. Maybe I'll try some brown ones next time. You know, live on the edge a little.
29. Do you have a cell phone?
Yeah, but I haven't bothered with keeping minutes on it since I don't get a signal at home.
30. Do you use chapstick?
Yes, especially those flavored Lipsmackers. Like I said, six-year-old girl at heart.
31. Do you own a gun?
I own a pit bull. She's a lot cuddlier than a gun, much less dangerous (despite what the media would have you believe), and more likely to scare off an intruder BEFORE they get in my house.
32. Can you use chopsticks?
Sort of. I can get the food into my mouth but I will look ridiculous in the process.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
In person, it's just me and the dogs and cats. But I'll have people to talk to online.
34. Are you too forgiving?
Sometimes, yes. But I can also hold a grudge like whoa. It really depends on what the offense was.
35. Ever been in love?
Yes.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Hanging out with me! We don't have plans yet though, so I'm not sure what we'll wind up doing.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
No, but I used to have a cat named Creampuff!
38. Last time you cried?
I've cried a lot this week and last. I don't remember when the last time was.
39. What was the last question you asked?
"Sup dawg?"
40. Favourite time of the year?
Generally October-December. Nice cool weather, lots of holidays, a general cozy feeling. All those holidays are going to be really tough this year, though. But I can still enjoy the weather.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope.
42. Are you sarcastic?
NO, NEVER.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Nope.
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Ha, yeah, lots of times. I'm especially good with bumping my shoulder into doorjambs.
45. Favourite colour?
Purple! I like red and silver a lot, too.
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Once, when I was a teenager, and there was some boy-related drama. Long story, light years in the past.
47. Is your hair curly?
It gets all wavy and stuff. It'd be perfect hair to have in the 1940s, but alas, everyone nowadays is supposed to have ~sleek, shiny~ hair. Feh.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
It's been way too long since I bought a CD :( I did get a Yanni CD and an Enya CD from the media exchange funshop at NEUC, though.
49. Do looks matter?
I guess to some people they do? To me it's kind of like, I decide you're awesome first, THEN I might think you're hot. I rarely find someone attractive on looks alone.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
No.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
It will be this month, from calling Arizona and Colorado. But usually not.
52. Do you like your life right now?
Obviously I don't like things right now, but in spite of that I can't say I don't have a good life. I have a house to live in, food to eat, and more friends than I can count. And even though she's gone now, I had an awesome mom. Not everyone can say that.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I've been known to fall asleep with a movie on, but I don't do it as a matter of habit. I do need music to sleep, though.
54. Can you handle the truth?
Are you deriding my truth-handling abilities??
55. Do you have good vision?
Eh... decent enough. My depth perception sucks and I can't read tiny fonts well, but I make up for it by seeing unusually well in the dark.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Dislike yes, hate no.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Lately, a lot. Usually I avoid it.
58. The last person you held hands with?
My mom, when she was in the ICU. It was the last time I saw her awake.
59. What are you wearing?
A t-shirt and shorts. People up north are hating me right now, but I'd gladly trade with you! I want sweater weather!
60. What is your favourite animal?
Kittens!
61. Where was your default picture taken?
This isn't Myspace so this question isn't really relevant? The pic at the top of this blog (as of this writing) is from my yard.
62. Can you hula hoop?
With a good hoop, yeah. I can't do it with the cheap ones.
63. Do you have a job?
No. I need to get one, fast.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Groceries and cat food and whatnot.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
My bedroom window leads out onto a porch I used to play on as a kid. So yes, lots of times.
But I do feel like blogging, so here is a survey I stole from Michael.
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My hair
2. What colour is your favourite hoodie?
White, with a red and blue logo on it (the flower from this album cover, plus the letters DM in blue)
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I don't remember who it was. It's been awhile
4. Do you plan outfits?
Only for special occasions, or if I'm gonna want to get ready fast in the morning and just be able to throw something on before my eyes are even open
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Annoyed, because I need to run errands and instead I'm sitting here waiting on a phone call
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
A plastic cup and some Dr. Pepper cans. Yeah, I need to clean off my desk :p
My hair
2. What colour is your favourite hoodie?
White, with a red and blue logo on it (the flower from this album cover, plus the letters DM in blue)
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I don't remember who it was. It's been awhile
4. Do you plan outfits?
Only for special occasions, or if I'm gonna want to get ready fast in the morning and just be able to throw something on before my eyes are even open
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Annoyed, because I need to run errands and instead I'm sitting here waiting on a phone call
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
A plastic cup and some Dr. Pepper cans. Yeah, I need to clean off my desk :p
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having.
I don't remember it. All I know is I woke up with the Reading Rainbow song in my head. This was Roni's fault, and there will be payback.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
In person, no. I've talked to a lot of people on LJ, but I don't know if any of them were new. I'm in some large comms (one has more people than my town) so it's hard to keep track of who I've talked to before.
9. What are you craving right now?
Is it possible to crave a cordless phone? If so, then I'm craving that. I'm hoping I can find a cheap one at the dollar store. I'm not going to eat it, though.
10. Do you floss?
Only if something is WAY stuck in my teeth
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Patch Kids? (You can take the kid out of the 80s, but...)
12. Are you emotional?
Outwardly, I can be pretty stoic (unless I'm giddy over something). Internally I'm a big gooey sap.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I think I tried when I was a kid, but always got bored by like 200.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
There's a lot of variables that factor into this - is it hard or soft-serve? Is it plain vanilla or are there chunks of stuff in it? Single or double scoop?
15. Do you like your hair?
hahahahahahaahhahahaa no.
16. Do you like yourself?
Generally, although I start doubting myself pretty fast when criticized. I'm working on that.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Oh absolutely, that would be hilarious. Especially once he knocked back a couple of beers. I'd get more amusing quotes out of that one meal than an entire season of the Simpsons.
18. What are you listening to right now?
The sound of cars going by on the highway. I was listening to "Gates of Dawn" by Secret Garden on Pandora, but I've got it paused so I can hear if the phone rings. This is why I need a cordless phone so bad.
19. Are your parents strict?
Well, I don't have any parents left now (my dad is a deadbeat). But no, my mom was never strict with me at all. My grandma had a temper but I wouldn't call her strict either. I pretty much got to do what I wanted so long as I didn't destroy anything.
20. Would you go sky diving?
Definitely not.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Only with fruit
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
I've met Trans-Siberian Orchestra, do they count? I *saw* a lot of celebrities at Dragon*Con, but I didn't get any autographs.
23. Do you rent movies often?
I have Netflix, so the answer is either "constantly" or "never", depending.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
This is me we're talking about. It would take less time to name the things that AREN'T sparkly, and most of those are rainbow-colored or glow in the dark. I'm a six-year-old girl at heart.
25. How many countries have you visited?
Zero, since I haven't been outside the US, and being in the country I live in doesn't really count as "visiting".
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
I hit the prime age for making prank phone calls around the same time everyone got caller ID, so no.
27. Ever been on a train?
I went on trains for the first time in Boston in August! It was awesome! I want to take trains everywhere!
28. Brown or white eggs?
I always buy the white ones, but really that's just because they're what my mom always bought, which is because they're what my grandma always bought. Maybe I'll try some brown ones next time. You know, live on the edge a little.
29. Do you have a cell phone?
Yeah, but I haven't bothered with keeping minutes on it since I don't get a signal at home.
30. Do you use chapstick?
Yes, especially those flavored Lipsmackers. Like I said, six-year-old girl at heart.
31. Do you own a gun?
I own a pit bull. She's a lot cuddlier than a gun, much less dangerous (despite what the media would have you believe), and more likely to scare off an intruder BEFORE they get in my house.
32. Can you use chopsticks?
Sort of. I can get the food into my mouth but I will look ridiculous in the process.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
In person, it's just me and the dogs and cats. But I'll have people to talk to online.
34. Are you too forgiving?
Sometimes, yes. But I can also hold a grudge like whoa. It really depends on what the offense was.
35. Ever been in love?
Yes.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Hanging out with me! We don't have plans yet though, so I'm not sure what we'll wind up doing.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
No, but I used to have a cat named Creampuff!
38. Last time you cried?
I've cried a lot this week and last. I don't remember when the last time was.
39. What was the last question you asked?
"Sup dawg?"
40. Favourite time of the year?
Generally October-December. Nice cool weather, lots of holidays, a general cozy feeling. All those holidays are going to be really tough this year, though. But I can still enjoy the weather.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope.
42. Are you sarcastic?
NO, NEVER.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Nope.
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Ha, yeah, lots of times. I'm especially good with bumping my shoulder into doorjambs.
45. Favourite colour?
Purple! I like red and silver a lot, too.
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Once, when I was a teenager, and there was some boy-related drama. Long story, light years in the past.
47. Is your hair curly?
It gets all wavy and stuff. It'd be perfect hair to have in the 1940s, but alas, everyone nowadays is supposed to have ~sleek, shiny~ hair. Feh.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
It's been way too long since I bought a CD :( I did get a Yanni CD and an Enya CD from the media exchange funshop at NEUC, though.
49. Do looks matter?
I guess to some people they do? To me it's kind of like, I decide you're awesome first, THEN I might think you're hot. I rarely find someone attractive on looks alone.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
No.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
It will be this month, from calling Arizona and Colorado. But usually not.
52. Do you like your life right now?
Obviously I don't like things right now, but in spite of that I can't say I don't have a good life. I have a house to live in, food to eat, and more friends than I can count. And even though she's gone now, I had an awesome mom. Not everyone can say that.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I've been known to fall asleep with a movie on, but I don't do it as a matter of habit. I do need music to sleep, though.
54. Can you handle the truth?
Are you deriding my truth-handling abilities??
55. Do you have good vision?
Eh... decent enough. My depth perception sucks and I can't read tiny fonts well, but I make up for it by seeing unusually well in the dark.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Dislike yes, hate no.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Lately, a lot. Usually I avoid it.
58. The last person you held hands with?
My mom, when she was in the ICU. It was the last time I saw her awake.
59. What are you wearing?
A t-shirt and shorts. People up north are hating me right now, but I'd gladly trade with you! I want sweater weather!
60. What is your favourite animal?
Kittens!
61. Where was your default picture taken?
This isn't Myspace so this question isn't really relevant? The pic at the top of this blog (as of this writing) is from my yard.
62. Can you hula hoop?
With a good hoop, yeah. I can't do it with the cheap ones.
63. Do you have a job?
No. I need to get one, fast.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Groceries and cat food and whatnot.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
My bedroom window leads out onto a porch I used to play on as a kid. So yes, lots of times.
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